Comments on: Reader Case Study: Two Working Parents, Two Young Kids and Three Old Cats

By: Beth

Beth — Sun, 23 Oct 2022 21:51:38 +0000

In reply to Kate.

Amen to Kate and Richard Quinn! I stay home with my kids. I could have a very decent career in healthcare. A field I mostly loved. And maybe will eventually return to. But I wouldn’t miss this time with my four kids. And I don’t mean in some kind of weird, I need them to need me 24/7 kind of way. I’m their mother, not their best friend or even chief entertainment. They have each other and other friends for that. Some families really have no choice and both parents have to work or there is only one parent. But many families could make it work for one parent to stay home with the littles or only work part time. Don’t get me wrong, it would definitely feel more “fulfilling” sometimes to be getting paid to be a nurse saving someone’s life, or helping them learn about how to make good health choices, or manage a unit (or wipe a bottom). But I’m saving the life (sometimes literally), educating, and managing the people most important to me. I hate doing housework and getting slimed for the 10th time during one day is not fun. But I love seeing my toddler’s smile and listening to his developing speech, counting with my four year old, teaching my six year old to read, and discussing meal plans with my nine year old as he learns to cook. By supper time I’m peopled out. But I’d rather spend that people energy on my people than at a job where I’d come home and have no bandwidth for my kids.

By: Kate

Kate — Thu, 20 Oct 2022 08:59:16 +0000

Going to be the lone voice here saying, if you’re curious what it would be like to stay home with your children, stay home with your children! Yes, you take a risk by walking away from a job for however long. But jobs are relatively easy to find, while time with your young children, especially if you plan to send them to traditional school, is so fleeting. You essentially have 2 years left to try this out with your oldest before kinder. If you hate it, what have you lost except a little career momentum that can easily be reclaimed. But oh, what if you love it? What if you realize how freeing and joyful being the one to be there for almost everything can be? And there’s no shame in prioritizing several regular hours of daycare per week to build in a break and pursue your interests. I just want to offer the non conventional perspective that even the greatest job can’t compete with the time you give to your family at this stage in the game. Jobs won’t love you back. Sure, they pay, but there are things whose value is priceless, and rooted in an entirely different economy.

Just an outlier perspective for your pondering.

By: Kay

Kay — Wed, 19 Oct 2022 20:22:13 +0000

In reply to CaseyR. Not related to the case study at all, just something that happened to us recently. Sorry about the scare!

By: Richard Quinn

Richard Quinn — Tue, 18 Oct 2022 00:42:06 +0000

I’m age 79, I’m generations away from most people posting here, I’m out of touch I suspect, but I see it disrespectful referring to one’s children as “kids, just kids.

But the real thing I can’t comprehend is not wanting to stay home and raise one’s children in favor of letting someone else do it to support a lifestyle only possible with two incomes.

Why have children if priorities are your lifestyle, deciding if you want to stay home with them, bigger houses, etc?

My wife and I have been married nearly 54 years and lived our lives raising four children based on one income and the lifestyle it could support.

By: Juanita

Juanita — Mon, 17 Oct 2022 04:29:12 +0000

On a side note, I really love the painting you did! I thought it was a photograph at first.

By: Elle

Elle — Fri, 14 Oct 2022 14:49:14 +0000

In reply to Kay.

Memberships were going to be my suggestion as well! Not sure if you make or would make the hour drive back to the city regularly but it appears that both the Minneapolis Zoo and Minneapolis Childrens Museum have annual memberships around $150. The Zoo also is part of AZA and has reciprocal membership with many other zoos for 50% off admission. Could be a good idea for holiday present to the kids/family if anyone is asking about gift ideas.

Also – LIBRARY PASSES and free museums or museum free days! Check out your local library as many have passes to area attractions – in my area this includes everything from children’s museums to art museums to 1/2 price ferry fare at the Boston Harbor Islands to free parking at state parks. Between library passes and looking out for free days at local museums I have visited attractions throughout New England for free…

By: KT

KT — Fri, 14 Oct 2022 03:57:46 +0000

You two are doing great! Hoping you can enjoy some well-deserved treats when you need them! A suggestion for swimming lessons: Infant Self Rescue ISR survival swim lessons. You can look up instructors in your area on the ISR website. It’s a big upfront time commitment and expense, but babies as young as 6 months learn to float and to survive if they fall into water in just 4-6 weeks. Priceless. Also a great option for grandparents to gift in lieu of toys. I pulled my children from regular swim lessons because while they were familiar with the water and having fun, they didn’t teach them how to swim and actually survive in the water until age 5 which seemed frustrating and pointless.

By: Dianne

Dianne — Thu, 13 Oct 2022 15:58:10 +0000

Yes, a freezer is almost a necessity with the price of food right now.

By: CaseyR

CaseyR — Thu, 13 Oct 2022 12:44:14 +0000

Confused about the ultrasound picture/true knots in the context of this case study? I’m 33 weeks pregnant with an IVF pregnancy and just went on a massive google deep dive about true knots….

By: Rosie

Rosie — Thu, 13 Oct 2022 00:17:13 +0000

In reply to Kay. Are you double counting the child care expense in your report? Seems like you are putting aside $5000 from gross income -- but then in the expense side, are you listing the full cost of day care? If you are, then seems as if you can add $5000 back into your available resources somewhere (either as income, or reduce the annual child care cost by $5000.

By: Monica

Monica — Mon, 10 Oct 2022 19:57:08 +0000

I want to suggest having a Home Equity Line of Credit (HELOC) as a back up for everything in life. They are relatively easy to get while working, and can be a source of immediate money when necessary, which can be replenished in days-weeks after selling appropriate investments. When my 20 year old son bought a used car, he did not realize that the dealership would want a bank check – he is a Capital One customer and their physical banks are far from our house. I was able to transfer the $7,500 he needed from my HELOC to my checking account instantly (HELOC at same bank as my checking account) and help him get the bank check. He then just transferred his money to me and 2 days later I paid off the HELOC. I think the few days of interest costs between $1-2 which was a reasonable convince fee that saved us from driving an hour to a capital one branch. The HELOC allows me to sleep peacefully and still keep my extra/emergency cash invested in an index fund earning significant interest.

By: Kristin

Kristin — Mon, 10 Oct 2022 19:51:47 +0000

In reply to Sharon. I was also surprised by this. It looks like they're making $94k net, so even at double that, they'd be making $188k, way under the $208k limit. Our net income is similar to this (and our gross is around $160k), and it got me really worried we might be doing something wrong!