1) You never know what opportunity will present itself. Sometimes the best opportunities come from the worst situations. I was working in a high poverty middle school for several years. We had a new principal every year. A crazy parent drove me to blindly put in an application at a small farm school teaching 6,7,8 self contained. It turned into a blessing where I met my second husband and had a baby at 40. When I wanted to continue teaching but also wanted to raise my son, I was offered a 60-40 position where I got full benefits for three days a week. It was the only position like that in the district. They kept trying to force me to come back full time but I stuck to my guns and became the most wonderful teacher in the world so that they couldn’t afford to loose me. I was part time until baby turned into a freshman in high school. I was able to buy “air time” for the missing service hours rolled over from my 403B. Later, when I faced a disabling mental health issue, a “wild cat” one year position of art specialist for 4th graders came up. That gave me the time and space to address my health. Now I am a high school history teacher on a block schedule where I teach three class with an hour and a half prep. I have a Dr.’s note that allows me to leave in the afternoon to avoid overwhelm. The afternoon is my prep so my students don’t suffer. I just come into school really early to compensate. Point being, you never know what is around the corner, keep all your option opens. Even a 20% position can keep you linked to the district until the next great job opens up.
2). You are your best resource, if you burn out ,students don’t get to benefit from your passion. I take “mental health days” ( I am skiing today) I do NOT answer the phone or leave my phone number for the sub. I do NOT answer parent emails after school hours. I do NOT have parent conferences without a counselor or administrator present. I ONLY work at a school that has an administrator who protects their teacher. Teachers can be their own worse drama junkie. I leave the drama at school and come back refreshed which helps everybody.
3.) Nationally, 1 out of 5 teachers stay until they are fully vested. How come only 1 out of 5 can make it to a dream pension that few other occupations have! This tells a story of a long, often difficult journey. The pension is not a dream however for those who quit midterm. It becomes a horrible investment when compared to individual saving endeavors if you had been working elsewhere. In California, for me and my age, I learned that 61 and a half gives me full medical and nearly 90% of my income. I learned this from independent research and I went to several personal retirement individual meetings. Dave Ramsay ( my husband said) said teachers are the third most likely profession to be millionaires. I was going to quit this year, but I have a new energy now that we are back full time and the district had to give us “one to one computers” and excellent technology. I am loving it. So I am in till 61 and a half.
4) To make the last next three years new and interesting, I have begun online classes, hands on classes, and summer grading labs to get my jewelry appraiser’s certifications. I have found a new energy as I look to my next career as working for auction houses as a vintage jewelry appraiser.

No advice here. This is my experience. Your feelings are real. Life at times is trudging and at times it feels like it is soaring. There have always been options in my life that appeared when I most needed them. My experience is to remember to always tell the truth of what is happening; find outside help: remind myself that I am enough just by waking up in the morning and I don’t have to prove anything beyond that; hang around positive people; and realize that fear 90% of the time is False Evidence Appearing Real.

I’m also the proud autistic mother of an autistic young man who’s now grown and flown. I shared the frustration of feeling like you can’t get any non-family care. It’s so hard when you know the adult is going to be flabbergasted by a kid who’s doing his best, but doesn’t run on the same operating system as his sitter! I wish I had any solutions to give, but please accept my solidarity. You’ll both get through it. I also want to encourage you to keep trade school on the radar as you’re guiding your son to a career in the future. Autism runs in a strong line through our family, and we’ve had electricians since there was such a thing!

Jean – Your comment comes across as judgmental and contains a lot of assumptions about Erin’s situation. It is not in line with the spirit of positivity and support expected in these case studies. Erin, thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your story.

What you need is a COMMUNITY of people to hold your hand and show you what the future of a special needs family can look like. That will help you to know that You don’t have to white knuckle your days. Look for autism support and special needs support. Seek out mentors who are ahead of you on the journey. You are not alone, Best of luck.

I love your story, thanks for sharing, and I respect your concerns about working in person in an educational setting. I am also facing this decision as my school is asking us to prepare to come back this summer 2022.

I have diagnosed anxiety and I think many people contribute my apprehension at working in person stems from my anxiety. I’m not sure if that is completely the case. More importantly, I’m not sure if that matters. Ultimately, it’s our decision (and our privilege!) to choose what’s best for us and our families. Reading your story helped me clarify what I would want — goodbye pension, I take the time and the peace over money every day. I can’t stop working of course, but I will look for another job that allows me to work online.

I wish you and your family the best!

Take care, jessie

Some other suggestions — online tutoring and teaching? With your excellent experience and degrees, perhaps the college level would be less stressful ? Whatever you decide I wish you well and hope you are still doing the things you love in whatever capacity. Good luck !