Agree with this 100% I found at 30 that four months was long enough to travel and after that I wanted home comforts.

I often dream of full time travel with my kids, but I think the reality would be very difficult. My 7 year old likes stability and I’d feel guilty taking him away from school and his home. We moved countries when he was 4 (England to Ireland) and it took him a year to get over the upheaval. Everytime he got tired and emotional, he said he wanted to go back home. I’d love to get an RV to travel in the holidays though.

My experience lines up almost exactly with Alison. We have one daughter, and she also has a “need for good friends and a consistent education and a hometown”. So much so that we bought an RV with dreams of spending Summer 2023 on the road traveling America and then realized that our 12 year old might actually die if she can’t see her tween friends 😉 So we’ve compromised with a 2 week trip at the beginning of summer vacation, a month back for summer camp and hanging out with friends, the last month of summer vacation is one long trip.

Rebecca, you and your husband are terrific savers and you will do well. If you do choose to travel with children I recommend at younger ages. Before the school years you’re not beholden to the school calendar. But they can’t walk as far, so there are always pros and cons. Best Wishes!

We use a website: homeexchange.com. It costs $150/year and works a bit like a dating site, where you list your home and places/dates you’d like to travel, and then others do the same. If you find a “match” you work out the details between yourselves, although the site does offer a few resources to help with that.

I’d love to know how you arrange for these home swaps! My kids are 3 and 5 and I love this idea. We live in Victoria, BC, which attracts a good amount of tourists.

One additional note on DC vs the suburbs- DC has free pre-k, so if you move to the suburbs you’ll add another $20k-$25k in childcare costs per kid for ages 3-5. It’s one big reason I had planned to move after preschool.

Regarding the commute- it is doable for me because I have a hybrid work schedule and go in 2 days per week. School pickup is tough if you’re coming from the city in rush hour traffic every day.

Good luck!

I’m a few years ahead of where you are (35, had my first at 30, then 34, and now pregnant) and remember this cross road. We opted not to buy and invested most of our down payment instead. I’m glad because it gave us a lot of flexibility AND allowed us to focus on our careers and child rearing instead of home maintenance. This is especially true for you since you’re not sure where you want to be long term. Also, when you live further from family, a lot of your vacation time and travel budget can be exhausted to travel “home”. My corporate America PTO suddenly looked much more generous when I was able to use it only for bucket list trips instead of visiting relatives.

In reality…it took me 2 years to get pregnant with the first which I had at 35, then 1.5 years to get pregnant with the second. I’ll be having my second kid at 38 if all goes well, and…now I want a third but it may be harder at 40. So much can happen and you can quickly find yourself way off the timeline you thought you’d have. Just what I would tell my younger self! Best of luck!!

We have traveled all over Europe with our very picky eater since she was less than 2 years old. While it was extremely stressful for me when she was little, we always found something she would eat. She never realized the stress of it and just had fun. Last Summer, at 15 years old, she did a one month camp in Germany where the food was horrible. She finally understood my stress but was able to work it out by buying snacks and good food on her outings. The nutrition is not what I would have preferred but she ate! Traveling with kids can be a challenge but exposing them to the world has a lasting benefit that is very rewarding in the end. So, if you want kids, that doesn’t necessarily to limit the travel. We also lived very frugally while I took a 12 year career break. I homeschool and have rented apartments in Europe for a month at a time with my daughter or RVd in Alaska. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Now that she is in highscool and I am back to work, I miss the frugal, traveling life even if it was very stressful at times. If you want a child, go for it and take them with you when you travel.

If you want kids, don’t wait too long. One of my nephews and his wife had trouble getting pregnant in their early thirties. She doesn’t want to try for a second child after turning 35 so if they get pregnant this year they have two kids, otherwise only one. One of my nieces has a wonderful, but challenging, energetic, first child. She is also heading toward 35 years of age, but can’t imagine having a second child until the first one gets into school full time. Yet she knows she’d like to have at least two kids. If you are thinking about having kids plural, it’s wise to start by age 30.

And as someone else pointed out, starting younger means having an empty nest while you are relatively young. My twin sister had her first child at age 23, and her second at age 28. By her late forties her kids had flown the nest! This also means that she is a young grandma at 57 to a four year old grandson. And she is having a lot of fun traveling now!

You’ve both been at your jobs for a short time so I agree with your desire to stay put for a few years, especially if your jobs have good parenting leave policies (if not, perhaps you could gently start to job search?).

You are doing a great job, and congratulations!

also, I will cast another vote for close in suburbs. I always considered myself a city girl until I met my now fiancé. When we met he already owned a home in a suburb of Portland or, about 15 mins from the city. I have lived there now for 2 years and honestly love it. It’s so easy to drive into the city or take the train and our suburb is very walkable with a ton of cool restaurants, parks and things to do. I actually drive less now than I did when I was living in Portland.

The one downside is that there isn’t as a cool of a scene in the burbs. No hole in the wall music venues or trendy cocktail spots but at 34 and getting ready to start a family… I’m not really looking for cool anymore. Ha!

Tldr; consider the gray areas around all your plans. Nothing is black and white, either/or. You’ll find the perfect combo of what works best for you!