Letting Go of Old Ideas: F the Jones’

personal finance, Uncategorized / Monday, August 26th, 2013

This could not be more spot on for me today. I have spent much of the last weeks occupying important head space with the idea that somehow I can figure out how we can buy a home while we are broke. Nevermind all the financial advice I have soaked up from my parents, Dave Ramsey, dozens of blogs, and my own experience. No. I want what I want when I want it.

I was talking to a friend about this and she asked what I thought that buying a home would fix. What am I unhappy with that I think this possession will change?

Good question.

Logically, I know that a home, or anything else I want to buy, won’t fix anything. But I think that there is a part of me that, as much as I hate to say it, desperately wants to keep up with the Jones’. I feel like I should be in the place in my life where I am settling down and buying a home and my husband and I can paint together and pick out new furniture. And I know that I am 29, but that doesn’t mean that I a) have any money, or b) am in a place where home buying is a option. Just because I have been around for a particular length of time of breathing on this planet doesn’t mean that I have my shit together, or money together, or anything together.

Also, I think that I want to push on to the future to make it happen because although I willingly signed up to be broke when my husband and I decided that he would be a full time student and we would live on one income, I am tired of it. There, I said it. We have many years to go of this broke student business and I am already fatigued. Mind you, we’ve been doing this for over three years anyway so, yeah, I guess my selfish desires (hello there envy) are rearing their ugly head. In reality, I am okay with the situation and I want him to finish school and get a career he loves (which, consequently, can mean mucho dinero for us), but I still hit broke fatigue. I think it’s a real thing (please tell me it is). Balancing wants and needs is what this whole being an adult business is about but sometimes I want to take out my rattle and demand wants.

Then last night I went for a run and turned on my I Heart Radio app on my phone to listen to while I ran. The first thing I hear is Dave Ramsey saying, “You don’t buy a house when you’re broke!”. I had been listening to the Dave Ramsey channel on the app earlier that day. Wow, that made me stop in my tracks. He continued to talk about how we tell ourselves that we will miss out on great inventory or great interest rates, but Dave reminds his listeners that it’s a load of crap. That buying a home when you are broke is not a blessing but instead is an invitation for financial trouble and stress. He also noted that the collapse of the housing market was based on many, many people demanding their wants and buying homes they couldn’t afford when they were broke. Yup. Thanks Dave.

I laughed and continued running thinking about how silly I can be. Logic and the heart’s desires are not always in alignment and they have been way off for me lately. Then this morning I check my email and I see the quote above from an article on And Then We Saved. Seems the universe is telling me something.

How have you struggled with letting go of old financial ideas that you have to or should have something?